My Sweet Child
by Keiran
Summary: (One-shot) What needs to be done to protect the peace in the form of Relena, told in Relena's PoV. Expect loads of poetic, flowery speech. Character death. Pairings: 1-2-1, R-1, 1xR


Author: Keiran  
Title: My Sweet Child 1/1  
Rating: R  
Genre: Tragedy, Angst, I think.  
Pairings: 1plus2plus1, Rplus1, 1xR  
Warnings: Shounen-ai, mild RFO, major character death. My first shot at: angst, Relena PoV and tragedy. Do not read if you can't handle Relena's flowery speech patterns or CLAMPish-like reality.  
Author Notes in the end.

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My sweet child…

I thought I had witnessed tragedy in my life. The palace I lived in as a child burning down, my parents being killed; my step-father dying in my arms; the man I loved nearly losing his life while I held him.

And yet, nothing prepared me for what was to come.

I thought the peace was established, that from now on we would live together, my fairy-tale prince and me. Yes, that was Heero. I say 'was' now, a bit ironic since we've been married for almost a year and you'll be born soon. I can't wait to hold you in my arms, sweet Duo.

That will be your name, little wonder. Duo Maxwell Yuy Peacecraft. I agree, it's a mouthful for one as small as you are, but it will bring you luck. Hopefully it would bring your father and I some ease. You will be our tribute to this world. A retribution for a light that was lost. I know it's bad to put such great expectations on an infant, but do not fear, you don't have to be perfect.

Dorothy used to warn me about pursuing Heero. She kept saying he wasn't the prince I expected him to be, that he was coarse, strong and dark. That he needed not a frail princess to look after, he needed a soldier to keep him balanced. My mind agreed, my heart didn't. By the time I started noticing how uncomfortable he made me feel, we got closer. There was a time when I was torn between wanting to befriend Heero for real and disgust for the… thing I found deep inside of him. We became friends eventually though. As I grew up, the gray matter that is life became more and more pronounced; nothing was the same anymore. I absolved Heero, deep in my heart as well as out loud, for the entire world to hear. We talked a lot, but there was always the matter of trust, or lack thereof, between us.

Then there was Duo Maxwell. I was jealous of him, I admit. This one time, when I saw Heero just lean against him and fall asleep, I thought I was going to shoot someone. He never slept in my presence, even when we were in the same room after a trying day and he was off duty. He told me truthfully that he simply can't. I was jealous. Only now do I start to understand what kind of a person he was. Only now can I understand that if Heero was the noble knight, then Duo was the Holy Grail, the light and joy of life which everyone was searching for.

There was a time when I didn't understand that. I desperately sought magic in my life, the elusive thing that makes life a fairy-tale. Seeing the 'painfully dark and brooding' Heero seek the attention of 'cheerful and yet so cynic' Duo, went against everything I believed in. So I tried to separate them, as often as I could, for it was I who'd undo the spell. I and no other.

I didn't realize there was no spell.

There were many other things I didn't realize. In some ways my life was indeed a fairy-tale, the way I managed to reach people's hearts when I spoke of harmony for one. They made me their angel; the Phoenix of the Peacecraft family that had risen from the ashes of war and brought peace to the human race. I couldn't see just how important I was. I believed in the goodwill of mankind, I believed that people yearn for peace and freedom and love, when in fact all they yearn for is to be left alone, so that their current day is much like the last. (1)

Heero had to take his life to make me realize that.

I was very annoyed that day. I was feeling a bit under the weather when I gave one of my speeches, and I believed that the day just couldn't get any worse. I was wrong, of course. As we were driving back to Sanq, I, along with my guards, were abducted by a terrorist group and taken to outer space. They were madmen, but well-prepared. I didn't fear though – my life was still a fairy tale. Myself, along with Duo and Heero, would be set free soon and justice would triumph. I was optimistic even when we were locked in a vault and the shuttle took a course for the Sun. It couldn't be too bad, I thought, the laptop was already hooked to some wires in the wall (I'm not good at the 'how') and the door was being worked on by Duo, who supposedly was able to break into a solid steel ball.

I was therefore surprised when he kicked the door and spoke with a tone of despair that I have never heard in anyone's voice: "Shit! These doors can't be opened from the inside!"

"What do you mean?" I asked. Heero glanced up briefly.

"I had a quick look before we were locked in here. It's modelled the same as an ancient vault. The only way to open it is manually, from the outside, or with a burner."

"Quatre will be here with a team in four hours," Heero said from over his computer, without looking up. There was a strange quality in his voice, one I dismissed quickly. I'd caught bits and pieces of conversation before, my optimism proved to be accurate. I looked at the both of them smiling.

"Then it's alright!" I said cheerfully. I was too absorbed in my relief to notice Duo shaking his head slightly. After a while I felt that the atmosphere was a lot heavier than it should have been, but when I tried to say something they didn't even notice. They just kept staring at each other without a word. "Heero?"

"Go to sleep Relena," he said tersely. "You've had a tiring day." I frowned, but decided to heed his advice. I made myself comfortable, but there's not much comfort to be had on a steel floor. I started shivering and when I felt a warm jacket being wrapped around my shoulders I looked up, straight into warm violet eyes.

"Sleep tight, Miss Relena," Duo whispered. I really was very tired, so I fell asleep only minutes later.

Steel isn't the most comfortable of beds, so I woke up four hours later, still as tired as I had been in the beginning. I rubbed my eyes wearily and moaned – my muscles were all cramped. I sat up carefully and searched for Heero and Duo. The sight that met my eyes took my breath away, both in wonder and fury.

Heero, the Perfect Soldier, my enchanted prince, was cradling his partner tenderly, stroking his hair, his face buried in Duo's neck. I was shaking with anger and yet I was somewhat charmed by the scene. Carefully I started sorting out my emotions, one by one. It took time, but eventually I thought I'll be able to speak without my voice breaking.

"Heero?" I asked tentatively. "How long… have you…?" He didn't answer for a long while. I almost gave up listening for an answer when I heard his voice, even more monotone than ever.

"I have… since I met him," he breathed. He didn't offer anything more. We sat in silence until I heard the distant sound of a crash and footsteps right afterwards.

"That must be Quatre!" I exclaimed, jumping up. "Wake Duo," I tried my best to keep my hurt feelings in check, "They will be here soon!" I looked at the door expectantly. I stood there waiting for the door to open, willing it too – I'd had enough of this tiny prison. Finally it did, admitting inside Quatre, Trowa and Wufei, all three wearing space suits but with their helmets off. They took a long look at our cell and suddenly I watched the blonde stagger with a muffled cry of 'Oh, Allah'. I furrowed my brows. What was going on? I turned my head slightly, to look around the vault. Nothing has changed – even Heero was sitting in the same place, cradling Duo to his chest. So what was wrong?

Wufei walked slowly past me and knelt by Heero. I watched as he took off his glove and extended a shaking hand. Very tenderly, as if to caress, he touched Duo's neck.

Abruptly all that I didn't notice before assaulted my senses. The paleness of his skin… the stillness… I moaned.

"No…" He couldn't have… I watched Heero raise his head and look at us with eyes that looked like empty sockets. He had the look of a man who passed the valley of death and the deepest pit of hell, only to find that with his quest he'd built one more, even deeper for himself. I knew in my mind what had happened, but my heart had trouble comprehending.

…Heero had killed Duo.

I don't remember the journey home. I think I screamed a lot. I think I called him names. I think I threatened. I think I cried. I woke up in my own bed and for a few minutes I desperately clung to a hope that it was just a dream. What a fool I was.

For the longest time I couldn't even look at Heero. I kept seeing him with Duo's lifeless body; and that thought made me nauseous. This man had killed the person he claimed to have loved! In my world such things just didn't happen!

And then, one day he walked into my room, unannounced, locking the door behind him. And he started talking. We talked until the early hours of the morning. We fell asleep at dawn; him nestled in my arms, his face wet with tears for the first time in his life.

I learned many things that night. I realized how important I was to the peace. My premature death could cause a war, a war far worse than anything that had happened so far. I discovered that one of us three had to die then, or we all would – there wasn't enough air for three people to last four hours. I didn't notice it then, but Sally explained it to me later – I was sluggish when I woke up as a result of the air getting denser and denser. We had to stay for a day inside an oxygen tent to make sure that the carbon dioxide in our blood was down to normal levels and was going to stay that way.

But what broke my heart was Heero's tiny admission that it was his own choice to kill Duo. I asked about it, yes. I needed to know why it was Duo who'd had to die. Heero looked at me with his bottomless eyes, enthralling me so deeply that his words went straight to my heart, bypassing my brain.

'I couldn't make him cry anymore.'

Later, when I learned about Duo's past, the words made a more direct kind of sense. That night it was the desperation, devotion and overwhelming sadness in his voice that moved me, almost as if he himself was dead and spoke longingly of his lost life. And in a sense I think that was the case.

All notions of fairy tales died in me that night. There was only the government's figurehead, barely out of childhood, and a deprived young man who wished for nothing but peace for his love.

There's not much more I can say. Heero stayed with me after the funeral. We got closer and eventually we got married, not the princess and her prince charming as I'd liked to imagine. It would be hard to say we loved each other even – Heero was telling stories about Duo's and his life and how much he wanted children. I suggested that he, perhaps, would like to see him happy with a family as well, and the rest is history.

In a month our little Duo will be born. I can feel him kicking sometimes; I can tell he's just as energetic as his namesake was. I will do everything I can, as will Heero, to ensure that baby Duo is happy. And maybe, just maybe, holding the precious child would make Heero happy too. As I stroke my swollen belly I smile. Yes, there will be happiness for us.

For all three of us.

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The End

(1) A direct quote from Terry Pratchett's 'Feet of Clay'. As much as I do not understand or care for politics, I think it is a pretty masterful summary.  
  
Author Notes: This fic is a bit of an oddball. Firstly, it ends with a happy 1xR marriage, which is an oddity in itself for me. I hope I managed to convey my views on Relena's change and just why the relationship would work in the end and not in the beginning.  
  
This fic stems from me reading X/1999 once too often. I hope it did make someone a little sad, not just wonder " What have you been smoking girl?" Just for the record, I wasn't smoking anything. Yes, I'm sick. It is my first shot at a pure angst fic, and I just couldn't find any other scenario. Or rather, this one wouldn't leave me alone.  
  
I had this image in my mind, of them three being trapped in an air-tight room, knowing when the help would arrive but knowing that it would be too late for all of them. Why there was no contest of who-kills-whom, or at least a game of scissor/rock/paper - I leave that for you to think about.


End file.
